Did you force your boyfriend to give up smoking?
recently, the time spent together in the editorial department has suddenly become a lot. Eel whale Zepeng thorns and I see each other almost every day. Eel whales sometimes ask me if it's strange that you are the only one of us who smoke.
I said, No, I respect their habits, and I know that they will also respect mine, because we are the same kind of people.
sure enough, thorns told me today that it would be better for you to write an article about smoking in summer. I'd like to know about it, too.
I said yes.
I took my first cigarette in my life when I was in junior high school.
that day, I hid with my roommate in the bathroom on the balcony of the dormitory, lit the cigarette in my hand with a sense of nervousness, excitement and guilt, took a puff, and then spit it out, only to find that smoking didn't seem to be as magical as I imagined, even occasionally causing dizziness.
although smoking didn't bring me much pleasure at that time, since then, I have kept receiving cigarettes from others and hiding in the bathrooms of the teaching building, dormitory bathrooms and the corner of the playground. Keep trying this novelty.
to ask why, at first it was probably because I was obsessed with the way I puffed in the mirror, and at the same time it made me feel like I grew up, which was a cool thing.
it was only later that I began to really realize the benefits of smoking and enjoy the harm.
ignite it when you are depressed, as if sadness can be taken away with the smoke emitted.
when dealing with strangers, receiving a cigarette from the other side represents receiving a friendly signal from the other person.
usually pass a few more cigarettes to the school security, by the way to get acquainted with him, you can avoid the risk of being confiscated when secretly ordering takeout.
and there is a difference between being able to smoke and a good student, which means that I am not a bully.
the most important thing is that the thing that parents and teachers are strongly against is the easiest way to prove my rebellion, which makes me feel so cool.
I was persuaded by my friends and nagged painstakingly; I was caught by the hostel and fined 200 push-ups; I was scolded by my parents and cut off my pocket money directly.
but I never stop smoking.
I know that smoking is bad. Smoking is harmful to health. I knew it when I was three years old.
but it has so many benefits at the same time that I can't find a reason to convince me, why should I stop?
in my opinion, old age is so boring that it is acceptable to live ten years less.
the first time I quit smoking was when I was a freshman, when I was with A Qi, a girl with a strong desire for control.
she controls my circle of friends, my daily schedule, and even the heroes I choose to play LOL with her.
smoking is no exception. One day she gave me an ultimatum without warning: "Why don't you quit smoking? I don't like the smell of smoking, and smoking is bad for my health. I'm doing it for your own good."
when I said, "it's too hard, I can't do it now," she blew up and had a cold war with me for two days and nights.
the reason is "you can't even quit smoking for me. What's the point of being together?"
later, in order to make peace with her, I bowed my head, and she told me that I was only allowed to smoke three cigarettes a day.
so I was forced to quit smoking, which lasted for a long time. To be honest, it was very hard.
until one day during the winter vacation, I was out drinking until the wee hours of the morning with a newly lovelorn, and the last two people were sitting drunk by the side of the road.
the first time she saw me, she asked me, "how many did I smoke?"
I didn't say anything.
so I was dumped. But I didn't ask to stay, because I couldn't figure out why she didn't ask: "Why are you drunk?" "
I asked her before I was with the eel whale, do you hate the smell of smoke?
she told me that it was quite annoying, because of rhinitis, it would be uncomfortable to smell smoke.
at that time, I asked her with great interest, "then why did you never ask me to quit smoking?"
and the answer she gave me was unexpected: "you are you, I am me, why should I 'ask' you to quit smoking?"
when I talked to her about it later, she posted a Weibo message, which went something like this:
"when many people like someone, they always ask for changes for themselves, such as quitting smoking. I don't want to do this in the name of" love "and" for your own good ". Force each other to break those "bad habits" in the eyes of others
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Yang Qianfu sang a song saying, "you want me to like you, don't change anything, no one ever dislikes you like this, you are who you are." I hope you are you in front of me, not "pandering to me". This is my "view of love". "
as mentioned earlier, there are many people who advise me to quit smoking. They all say that I am doing it for your own good.
but in fact, the friend who tried to persuade me to quit smoking was just because he didn't smoke at that time, and now he has become the person who handed me cigarettes most often.
and punished me to do 200 push-ups, but every day he smoked cigarettes confiscated from under the pillows of various students.
A Qi, who forced me to quit smoking, just wanted me to give up all kinds of things for her to prove my concern for her and her control over me.
even my parents are more likely to be unable to accept that their son has changed from a good boy to a "bad boy" in their eyes.
so in the end, no one can convince me.
but the strange thing is that after spending time with the eel whale, I smoke a lot less, not because of who wants to "do it for my own good" or because I suddenly feel bad about smoking, but because I want her to be more comfortable with me.
and it's not hard at all.
when most people ask me to make a change in the name of "for my own good", they don't really care about me, they just want me to be what they want me to be.
what they really care about is the "me" they like.
in fact, I know better than anyone that some things are not good, such as from a smoking habit to a pessimistic attitude.
but I always insist on it, just because this is who I am, there are sparkling places and unpopular places, and it won't change because of who likes it or not.
but interestingly, those who are willing to accept my imperfections always get some surprises, just as eel whales accept my addiction, but I smoke less, just as readers accept my negative energy. but get the power.
whether it's smoking, writing, or anything else, it's essentially the same thing.
I'll have a lot of trouble in the future. Good night, everyone.