I thought it was impossible for the spare tire to become a regular worker.

/October 2023

I have to tell you, when I first met you, I didn't like you.

this is what I said to you after we were together.

I don't like you. Although you have some good highlights and a lot of girls who are after you, I already have someone I like when I know you.

I have been in love with F for two years. I am the kind of person who looks forward to meeting again at first sight.

at that time, I was like a puppet thread pulled by him. I was close today and estranged tomorrow. whenever I wanted to give up, the other person would pop up again and ask me to have dinner and talk at night.

but I can't help it. I called him a "scumbag" and dressed up for the appointment.

he is good at everything, good grades, good looks, and his hobbies are just right with me. He gets along very well, but he is so close that he is about to catch fire, and there is no spark in his eyes.


I know you at this time. I always subconsciously approach my side when taking group photos. When my profile picture turns gray, you will run to the balcony in the middle of the night to record songs to amuse me. You can always do anything when I'm in trouble.

to tell you the truth, most people are selfish. Who cares about the existence of someone who is willing to die for you?

We all know how to seduce someone and make someone who already likes you more determined, saying good night from time to time, caring about what you are doing from time to time, and flirting in a playful tone at the right time.

maybe it's a spare tire that has been used for too long. Who doesn't know about this kind of careful machine? the more I hang you, the more you can't let go. The worse I treat you, the better you treat me.

even if I do nothing, as long as you stay around, all day is the so-called spare tire.

you gave me a gift and asked someone to bring back a pink wallet from Japan. I didn't like it and quickly soiled it, while the inner mezzanine of the wallet, I took the draft paper with his handwriting, um, treasured it.

I used to yell at you, and I said I didn't like you, and you were really fucking annoyed.

I regret it when I say it. Isn't that what other people say to me? how did I become such a person?

I'll talk to you again in two days. I know that as long as I talk to you, even if it's just a full stop, you'll come running. People are very cheap, people who say a hundred times to give up, will never give up, just like you, but also like me.

I don't mean to do this, but we always get tired of a good person and always start thinking about it again in a couple of days.

at first I thought I was a "scum girl", but then I found out that everyone did.


one day when my mood hit rock bottom, I sent F first, hesitated, and then asked you "are you there?"

he didn't reply to me, but you did.

fifteen minutes after you learned my location, you came here. I sat on the ladder next to the basketball court and watched you run onto the court. I wanted to call you, but suddenly I couldn't.

you may suddenly have a conscience and don't want to hurt you again.

watching you running around like headless flies on such a big basketball court, calling me on the phone and calling my name, I will never forget how many people I meet in the future.

that night we sat by the side of the road, watching the lights of the city go out one by one. Although we were not from here, we had the illusion that the city belonged to us.

I am shaken. I can't tell whether I am moved or like.

then I got sick. When I woke up, I heard the sound of water in the bathroom. Through the half-open door, I saw a big boy squatting on the ground, holding a plastic basin filled with water, washing girls' skirts, cold winter, hand washing.

I suddenly remembered the lines from Twelve Nights. No one asked you to do this. Why did you do it?


when I was with you, everyone was surprised, "how come you fell in love with him?" I didn't tell anyone why, and even many people thought that we probably fell in love at first sight.

I do not deny that I am moved, but I do not deny that there is no conflict between emotion and love.

when I think of the soundtrack in the prank kiss, what impresses me most is not "prank" or "a little closer", but the opening song that few people listen to. "say u love me" is about Jiang Zhishu and Yuan Xiangqin-

he pretends to turn a blind eye to her, but his head is full of pictures of her smiling

he unconsciously notices any of her every move

only to find that he has accidentally indulged in it


before the holiday, I went out to dinner with F and talked about his recent emotional state. He suddenly joked. If you didn't get out so soon, maybe we'd be together.

I was a little embarrassed and asked him, "do you remember when I sent you a message, that night?"

he said he remembered that at that time the phone was out of power and replied to me two hours later, but I didn't reply.

I felt a shock after hearing this, but I didn't say a word.

when F took me home that day, I thought I would be very sad, I would be bitter about it, and I would regret it, but when I climbed the stairs, I found that I missed you so much.

I went out all day with the person I used to like best, and when I got home, my head was full of thoughts about you.

about that day, I made a distinction between emotion and love.

Catching every eyes with our stunning collection of high neck wedding dress. Always our pleasure to see you getting your desired garments.

Last night I flipped up my previous ambiguous chat records and asked you, did you like me very much? You said, "Yeah, garbage".

I complained with a smileAt that time, you were a good spare for me.

you sighed, "it's old-fashioned, but it's true that you and I have no fate, and it all depends on me."

I went up and hugged you and said, "well, fortunately, I have your support."


in fact, I know that you also have a spare tire, we are not good people, but there is a person who "just wants to be nice to him". So we became the "good people" in each other's eyes and the "spare tyres" in the eyes of the public.

after watching "the Kiss of mischief" so many times, I always thought that I was Yuan Xiangqin. All day long, the small universe erupted around others. I never dared to think that one day I would become Jiang Naishi and become the "center of the world" of others.

it never occurred to me that the "spare tire" could become a regular employee one day.