I'll leave on the day you get out of order.

/October 2023

at one point last semester, I was so depressed that I left myself on the inner ring of the college town every night and walked aimlessly with headphones.

I didn't get in touch with anyone, and of course no one came to ask me why I didn't post my moments or share my emotions like I was dead recently.

the only person who asked me out was Ah Zhou, although the location was still the inner ring road that I walked countless times every night.

I asked her nervously, "are you in a bad mood? why do you ask me out for a walk?"

she replied naturally, "No." I just feel like I haven't seen Wang Zepeng for a long time, so I came to see you. "

I have always felt that this sentence is a turning point for me to get out of "mourning" because one person will feel like "I haven't seen me for a long time." The relationship between

and A Zhou sometimes makes outsiders feel particularly hypocritical. One night she suddenly said to me, "actually, if one day you can't survive, it's not impossible for me to raise you."

she said this because I joked with her not long ago that if I keep doing this, I can't survive in the end.

although when I chatted later, I found that Zhou completely forgot the words "I haven't seen you for a long time" and "I raised you", but I still remember them very clearly.

even I am a little proud and glad that I have such a good friend of the opposite sex.

people around me often suspect that I like A Zhou, but not Lao Yan, because he himself has had a similar experience.

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A while ago, he excitedly told me that he had something very powerful to show me. I went to the computer and found that it was a web page called "Food No" that I had never heard of.

Lao Yan boasted like a child: "this is the common account of me and a good friend of the opposite sex in high school. We will leave a message on it, and then if anyone logs in, we will follow the message."

I took a look, and there are nearly three years of messages on it. They will share the little joy of learning to cook a dish today, the pain of being lovelorn, and even the experience that Lao Yan mentioned to her on a case-by-case basis.

you don't know when the other person will see it, but because of this form, the emotions you sometimes have nowhere to place have a home.

Lao Yan said with some emotion: "when I first met her, she was very introverted and was very kind to me alone."

at that time, she brought a row of Yili to Lao Yan, but Lao Yan said no. So she stepped back and said, have a bottle.

after thinking about Lao Yan, he agreed. From that day on, the other party would use some excuses such as "Thank you for helping me with the topic" and sent bottle after bottle of Yili to Lao Yan.

on the last day, when she said, "I don't have a lot of benefit," Lao Yan realized that he had finished the row of "the other party wanted to give it away, but he didn't want it."

after that, Lao Yan also told a lot of stories, but I didn't listen to them much. I thought I noticed the last three messages on the website-all left by Lao Yan himself, and the time was also half a year ago.

Lao Yan said awkwardly, "she seems to have forgotten this place a long time ago." The two of them also add Wechat now, but they chat a lot less than before.

then he thought about it, and he quickly asked me, "do you think I should go and remind her?" Without waiting for me to answer, his next sentence came: "I'd rather not."

I asked him why, and he said he didn't think it was appropriate because the girl had a boyfriend now.

after touching my chin, I admit that it is inappropriate, but I would like to ask Lao Yan a question: won't it be a pity if it doesn't fit?

this time he looked at the computer screen for a long time, and finally smiled: "it will be a pity, but if I run and insist on mentioning this memory, will I get the result I want?" Maybe we all sigh again that time flies, and then there will be no more. "

"and because it's selfish to disturb each other like this, I don't do that." Lao Yan added.

my mind flashed through the appearance of A Zhou falling in love in the future, and I was often asked a very serious question: "if you or A Zhou fall in love with someone else, can you still be like this?" And would you be sorry if you were estranged? "

in fact, A Zhou asked me a similar question.

at that time I had someone I liked and told her when I was walking. When I finally sent her back to her dormitory, A Zhou suddenly asked me, "if, I mean if." Now that you're with her, will you still walk with me in the middle of the night as you do now? "

this question is as difficult as who your mother and girlfriend save first when they fall into the water. You can't even think about it for too long, or you will appear insincere.

that's what I said at the time: "if I had a girlfriend, you wouldn't ask me out much." Because you are good at taking care of other people's emotions, you will try your best to avoid my embarrassment. "

A Zhou was not fooled, so she asked again, "will you ask me out?"

this time I thought about it, but when I was ready to speak, A Zhou suddenly said, "I hope you won't accompany me for a walk in the middle of the night like this."

I was stunned for a moment, and she continued, "because if you really fall in love, it's really rare." I don't want you to miss this rare because of me. "

"but isn't it a bit of a pity?" I asked.

she glared at me: "it's a pity." Then the tone suddenly softened: "but I can't hold you back when you get better."

I have never liked to talk about "whether there is pure friendship of the opposite sex".OK to discuss, because those who believe will believe, and those who do not believe will refute whatever they say.

but undeniably, when a friend of the opposite sex has a date, the relationship becomes somewhat tied, and there are a lot of things to consider and care about.

but in any case, the other person is taking a step towards the life he wants, and he is getting better. What a friend should do is to pull when the other person is about to fall, rather than pull him back again and again as he goes up.

always look back on the past and it will wear away the past. There is something beautiful, just let it look like that, there is no need to upgrade it.

A few days ago, Lao Yan excitedly told me that she left a message on "Rice No" and shared a big bowl of dog food. I smiled beside me, and the ending might be much better than a blunt reminder.

No more interruptions. For some friendships, it is actually a kind of tenderness. And fortunately, it will not be the last tenderness.