It hurts to be your friend.

/October 2023


one day, gay friend Ah Yu asked everyone to help him come up with an idea to chase a girl. When he said who the girl was, one of our friends, Ah Wen, said to him very seriously, "Ah Yu, you'd better give up, you don't have a chance." In the end, you won't even be able to be friends. "

A Yu asked why in a hurry.

A Wen stared at Ah Yu for a long time and said word by word, "you don't deserve her." Don't you know it yourself? You are not handsome, nor do you have any outstanding ability. Why should they take a fancy to you? "

at that time, not only Ah Yu, but also other people, including me, were shocked. Ah Yu smiled bitterly and nodded. Later, the girl was with another boy, and Ah Yu was glad he didn't chase her, at least he wouldn't be embarrassed when he met her now.

although I resented Ah Wen's direct way of speaking, I thought it was at least a good thing for Ah Yu, at least it made him feel less painful than short-term pain.

it's just that A Yu hasn't talked to us about feelings for a long time since then.

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people who can't speak often think "I'm good to others", but they don't know that sometimes good results often cause great harm to others on the other hand.

just like Arvin can't talk, although it is a healing needle, it also makes him remember that it really hurts when he heals the wound.


of course, we meet more often people who can't speak, and their words are more likely to stick to our hearts. In their opinion, I won't talk well because we are friends, and this little joke is nothing.

when I was a freshman, I made a pretty good friend through talking in a freshman group. His name is Heng.

is always an interesting person to talk to, and I still think so even now that I have a general relationship with him. At that time, I posted some black photos of myself in the group and was fighting with everyone.

later, for some unknown reason, people discussed topics such as beauty and ugliness in the group. Heng chatted for a few words, and then sent out my black photo and said, "people like * * are hopeless." I will not elaborate on some of the more unbearable words. I only remember that the whole group was laughing at that time.

I exploded directly after I saw it, but I couldn't shout abuse in the group, so I had to delete him angrily.

he apologized to me later. It's just that he said, I thought we were good friends, so it's okay to make a joke, right?

but it is because we are very good friends that I don't understand why he said such things to me and covered up his harm to me with jokes. To this day, I am too stingy to pass his friend application.

some people who can't speak often play the banner of our good relationship, and then wantonly carry on what they call jokes. And the fundamental purpose of this kind of joke is just to entertain yourself.

I have always thought that friends have never been used as an excuse to entertain themselves.


A Yu asked us out again a few days ago. He wants to chase another girl. Someone joked inappropriately, "have you finally given up the girl before?"

A Yu looked awkwardly at A Wen, but A Wen did not speak, but subconsciously avoided A Yu's eyes. I played a to ease some of the awkward situation and began to discuss advice for Ah Yu.

after the party, I walked with Ah Yu and Ah Wen.

Arvin spoke first, and it took him so long to come to us again, was it because I spoke too aggressively that night?

Ah Yu did not seem to expect that Ah Wen would ask this question. After being stupefied for a moment, he said, "is it all right? at that time, although I knew you were right, I didn't want to give up so easily. After what you said, it seemed that I had no choice but to forget her slowly."

Arvin was silent for a while, "I was wrong." I only think that it is always good for you to give up the pain of not being rejected. I think such a good is enough for you. In fact, I should have thought more. "

A Yu did not speak, which is regarded as a default.


Arvin is actually a very good talker. Normally, she is always able to chat energetically with others between three or two sentences without causing repulsion. A lot of times I think I should learn how to talk from her.

but on that night a long time ago, because she could not speak, Ah Yu silently endured the hidden pain. She was really for Ah Yu's good, but she immediately thought of the good, but did not think of the good and bad results.

"if I had thought a little more at that time and told you that although the hope was small, we would have supported you, maybe you wouldn't have taken so long to get out." Ah Wen looked at the sky and said briefly.

people who can't speak often say it directly because they think of a good or bad result.

and because of the excuses of "I am good to him" or "we are friends", they often think that it is enough to think of this, and then they do not bother to think about it.

like Arvin, like Heng, like many people who often say "I am such a character", "I am for your own good" and "but we are friends". In fact, they often just use such excuses and don't think about it more.

give up this laziness, things will be a better result. At least, talking like that will be better for your friends who want to be good for him.

good night.