When I like you, I only have the courage of flesh and blood.
I thought it was impossible for a spare tire to become a regular worker when you finished that article the other day. "after that, I didn't forget to laugh and complain that I was a spare.
but I'm not angry at all, not because I know you're kidding, but because I don't think it's such an embarrassing thing in the first place.
I smiled and said to you, "I was a spare, but now you can't go anywhere without me."
in fact, it's not just you. Everyone thought I was a backup, but in my opinion, I was more like a warrior.
and now that you are by my side, you are the highest honor I have ever won after a bloody battle in my emotional battlefield.
actually I already know that you didn't like me at first.
but it doesn't matter. I like you.
I think you should know this better than I do. You can't control it if you like it.
just like so many people like me, I still choose to like you. Even if I am loved by so many people, you still like F.
but what you don't understand is that I'm more nuanced than you think, and it always allows me to discover a lot of things you don't want me to find.
for example, when you inadvertently mention "a friend of mine" and see your smiling face, I know it's the one you like.
for example, when you posted a picture of eating mango ice in your moments, I could tell from the cell phone case in the corner of the camera that it was him, and there was only one portion of mango ice, so I knew again that you were eating the same mango ice with the same spoon.
when I had just finished my work that night, I came back tired from outside and went to the balcony to wash my face. when the wind blew past, I felt a chill in my body, and a little man jumped out. I said to me for the 37th time: "forget it. I'd better not get in touch with her."
No sooner had the voice dropped than I received your message.
I smiled and thought you must have insomnia again, so I wiped my wet hands and replied to your message for 5 seconds.
and the villain who bothers me with blind bb all day has been killed by me for the 38th time.
you always think I'm stupid and don't know anything to control my emotions between applause-as soon as you laugh, I laugh with you, and as soon as you cry, I run to you.
in fact, I don't know where I don't know. Hanging you, playing hard to get, hot and cold, Schrodinger style, using routines and techniques to maintain an ambiguous relationship with you, which makes you sad from time to time. You probably can't leave me for a long time.
I don't want to do this because you told me that all the people you fall in love with are the same, which makes you miserable and you hate waiting.
so I continue to love you with the least efficient, the most comfortable, but the hardest way I love you.
however, in fact, most of the time people are very cheap, and we tend to prefer people who can make us feel pain.
you and I are both like this, and we enjoy it.
but I often think that people who make good use of routines and skills in a relationship have already turned the relationship into a game.
because from the beginning, everything they do is for what they can get, and they never think about each other's feelings.
isn't it ironic to keep saying "like" but always digging a hole for each other step by step?
so even if I know it's a shortcut, I disdain to do it. I'd rather break through the south wall and take a road full of thorns.
this is my view of love.
so I still cling to it and treat you unconditionally with the mentality of "others laugh at me too crazy, I laugh at others can't see through".
at that time, you were in a volatile mood. I was the only one who could put up with your temper every time, be your trash can, fill your pile of rubbish, and then go to the playground for a 5-kilometer run.
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when you are left on a road you don't know by hitchhiking drivers at night, they will only tell you that there is a door guard in the dormitory and can only teach you to read a map on Wechat. I am the one who dared to climb out of the 2-meter-high fence of the school and run to pick you up after the entrance guard hours.
I like Rilke's sentence: "there is no victory. Holding on means everything."
because that was the story of you and me-I really held on at last, and one night, you finally took my hand.
maybe it's because I'm moved, maybe with a little love, but I can't tell it apart, but it doesn't matter to me.
from the day I decided to like you, I have been psychologically prepared. Even if I sacrifice myself, it is enough to continue to bring you happiness and happiness.
I have seen the likes of many people, all of whom hide themselves in the dust and feel from the bottom of their hearts that they are the most humble being, and they dare not even hear the word "spare tire". Let alone generously admit that they are a backup.
because everyone is making fun of the spare, it is humiliating to be a spare.
but who would have thought that a spare tire means the most reliable existence, the one who can always support you and help you out of trouble when you can't resist suffering.
what makes us different from others is that from the very beginning, we love you with a determination to die, and live after death. Even if you die on the road of love, it is also the most tragic existence.
when I like you, there is no deliberation, no wily, no trap.Road and skill, I only have a bloody courage.