"Why don't men cherish the present?"

/January 2023


yesterday I talked to Vivi about traveling. We had agreed to take her to Disneyland after the Spring Festival, but because my father had a serious illness at the beginning of the year, and he had already passed the Lantern Festival by the time he recovered, the Disney plan was shelved.

before I promised to take you there during the holiday, she shook my hand and said, "it's all right, Disney can go at any time."

I said yes, and then turned on my phone to check the date, April 3.

I still remember that time passed very slowly when I took care of my father in the hospital. Because before eight o'clock in the morning, the nurse began to make rounds, and then called me by the way, "Don't get up yet." So I quickly got up from the nylon bed, folded all the clothes I had covered myself at night, and then put away the nylon bed and returned it to the nurse's station.

when everything is ready, I will wake my father up and ask him if he is any better.

he pointed to his stomach and smiled and said, "how can you get better with such a big pipe in here?"

I picked up the flyer and said, "all right, what would you like to eat today?"

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he said, "Lean meat with preserved eggs, and then order me multiple bowls of soup."

when takeout arrives, I have to keep reminding him: "the doctor told you to eat less and eat more, eat half a bowl, and save it for later."

he didn't argue with me either. after eating half a bowl, he put the porridge aside and said to me, "put it away and eat it in half an hour."

I saw through such a trick at a glance, so I replied, "No, I won't eat until 12:00."

he smiled a wry smile and said: all right.

at noon that day, I tuned the TV to CCTV 6, and I was just broadcasting "get out!" Mr. tumor. I remember that when I was watching this movie in the cinema, my girlfriend cried all the paper towels next door, while I kept wiping and wiping with the only paper towels left.

so I knew it would be even more deadly if I watched this movie in the hospital, so I asked my dad, "Why don't you change the channel?"

he asked me, "No, I want to see this."

I had to keep watching with him.

at first, I could still complain with my father while watching, but as the plot went on, when I saw Xiong Dun's father crying in the supermarket, I couldn't help but burst into tears, because I could understand how he felt at the time.

I pressed my voice and dared not turn around with a tissue because I was afraid he would find me.

but just as I was taking a tissue, my father suddenly said to me, "I want to drink water. Go get me a glass of water."

"Yes, yes." I hastened to answer him, and then added: "I also want to buy a bottle of yogurt, you wait for me."

by the time we get back, it will no longer be CCTV 6 on TV.

well, it looks like my dad found out.


my father has been through a lot in recent years, and he has become fond of talking to me about his past. He is the youngest in the family, and his two brothers and sisters spoil him and give him a net pocket money regardless of his grades.

our family is not a very rich family, but in those days, 1.1 points of pocket money could be saved to become the richer one in the class. In his words: "what I wore and ate was the most fashionable in those days, and I often invited my classmates to eat, like a boss."

by the time he was in his twenties, my father got a good job and drove home the first motorcycle in the village.

but no one can beat the word "later". People who are going through life will never understand which "critical moment" decided the second half of his life. Anyway, he inexplicably made his life worse and worse.

when I was in high school, he tried to disagree with life, promising me that "it will be fine in a few years, just a few years", but I have known since then that I have to rely on myself, because it is irresponsible to my own life to bet on others. So I never thought about "it will be fine in a few years". Instead, it is my father who is still working diligently on this road.

but when I went to college, I found that my father had really changed. In the past, he was either a stubborn bully or a silent loser, but in the past few years he has become much kinder, no longer blaming others or blaming himself.

years ago, I took him to the supermarket near my home to buy clothes. Walking around, we found that among middle-aged people, it was really frighteningly expensive. Any shirt was 500. Unlike our young people, a Uniqlo was no more than 200. Finally, I insisted on buying him a shirt of more than 300. He kept waving his hand and said, "it's over 50 years old. Why do you wear it so well?" In the past, it was said to buy a crocodile card, but now it is not necessary. "

I don't care. I took it to the cashier and said, "I'll give it with Wechat." My father was so happy next door that he couldn't see his eyes. "it's so convenient now," he said. "even Wechat can give money."

then came the story at the beginning of this article. He was unwilling to go to the hospital with appendicitis and was taken to the city hospital by ambulance.

later he said to me, "I was scared to death when ICU woke up. There were four patients in the whole room, and I was the only one who could open my eyes."

now, when I think about it, the time when I was with him seemed to be the most frequent time since my father and I went to college.

before us, let's not talk about Wechat. Unless it's a holiday, it's okay not to get through to the phone every two or three months. Because it seems difficult for father and son to talk about everything, he wants to maintain authority in front of me, and I want to be independent in front of him, so most of my emotions have to be hidden. All I can say is "have you eaten" and "how are you recently?" there is also the topic of "how are you these days?"

that's the way people are, only feeling life.Only when you are vulnerable, you are willing to treat the people around you.

my dad said he thought about a lot of things when he was in the hospital, and he even summed up the "critical moment" that made his life turn around. After I was born, he wanted to make more money through "adventure" so that our whole family could squeeze into another class, but he failed.

I smiled and asked him, "do you regret doing this now?"

he smiled and said, "No regrets. I'll still take risks if I do it again."

No wonder I am a conservative.

later, I went to Chongqing and Chengdu, and when I told my family on Wechat that I was safe, he asked me, "was it fun?" I didn't know what I was doing, so I forgot to answer him, and the next day, I received my father's Wechat: "son, was it fun over there?"

I hurriedly took a short video to show him and said "fun".

he gave me a meme of the Republic of China, which said, "that's good."

I smiled at that expression for a long time in Chongqing.

A few days ago, there was something wrong with his mobile phone and called me for help. I was having an election meeting and said to him, "I'm busy. I'll call you back later."

but he told me for no reason: "Don't put too much pressure on yourself, it's just work, it's nothing."

I froze on this side of the phone and then said, "Yes, I will."

after hanging up the phone, I remembered that I had just posted a "sad" moments, so I immediately opened my Wechat and liked it, but I still couldn't see my dad's profile picture.

but I think maybe this is the only way for father and son to communicate.

I saw a movie called "deeper than the Sea" on the plane before, and I was touched by a line in it. In the past, I thought my father was like a Ding crab in "Big Times". All he did was to justify himself, but I didn't get to know him until I grew up.

Yes, if you don't give up, you'll get nothing.