After being driven out of the house by his wife and children, a middle-aged man spent 24 hours
my relationship with my son seems to have flowed down to the freezing point since he was in the second year of junior high school.
but I don't know when I became an "annoyance" in his eyes.
that day, I quarreled with him again (he was in his first year of high school and his grades plummeted because he was infatuated with online games).
my wife, Wen Jing, saw that the war broke out again and again at any time, so she advised me to go back to my parents' house for a few days to calm the adolescent boy down.
I can't help it. Although I am a tough guy, I also know that my son is in a critical period of his life, so I can afford to avoid it.
the father was so driven out by his wife and children that he had never been so suffocated in his life.
when I went back to live in my parents' house, I didn't mention the quarrel with my son.
however, it was OK to stay for one day, and then I went back to my parents' house after work the next day. My parents were in a hurry.
they thought I had a fight with Wen Jing.
Dad reprimanded: "A big man, there is a problem to solve the problem, husband and wife quarrel is still running out, you hurry to go, we can not keep you more."
seeing that Dad is going to get angry, I can only tell the truth.
after complaining about how unreasonable adolescent children are, I sincerely sigh: "I really miss him when he was a child, at least before junior high school, we had a honeymoon."
I thought my father would scold me for being incompetent.
that night, we both broke the precepts and drank seven or eight bottles of beer.
in addition to my mother's specialty, there are also memories of the past.
I almost forgot everything about my growth if my parents didn't mention it.
my father said that I used to worship him when I was a child.
his skillful hands can always create fashion-leading toys for me, such as glass balls, fluorescent swords, electric fish tanks with filtration and water purification functions.
at that time, I adored my father very much.
work as a sidekick behind his ass every day, and even make bold words: "Dad, when you are old, I will fly a plane to take you and my mother around the world."
when I was a child, when I accidentally got into trouble, I would take the initiative to pick up the broom and willingly say to my father, "I was wrong. Hit me and let me learn my lesson."
, he was also distressed, and I comforted him in turn: "Dad, if you do something wrong, you have to be punished. You played right."
"at that time, the unit often went on business trips and dared not let you know every time, otherwise, you would really touch and follow to the railway station, and then run under the train and cry. At that time, your mother was jealous of our relationship."
when I recalled this, my father drank heavily and his eyes narrowed with laughter.
I laughed too.
as far as I can remember, my father and I have always had a good parent-child relationship.
but this is not the case.
according to my parents, I have been estranged from my father since I was in junior high school.
once, when my mother was cooking, she found that there was no salt in the house. My father asked me to go downstairs to buy it, but I refused.
he also offered to pay 50 cents for running errands, but I still refused to go and said angrily, "if you want to go by yourself, why dictate me?"
it was not that he held a grudge, but after that, he found that I was no longer obedient to him.
and I don't just stop shopping for them.
whatever my father asks me, I will resist or simply ignore it.
he asked me to study hard. I said, which eye can you see that I am not studying hard?
he asked me to cut my hair short, but I sprayed my mother's hairspray to make my already long hair stand upright.
I couldn't finish my homework many times, and the teacher came to visit. Not only did I not admit my mistake, but I put down my cruel words after she left: "I hate the teacher. I hate her complaining. From now on, I will sleep in her class."
my father raised his angry fist at me. I held out my head and said, "shoot me if you can."
he asked, "look at you now. Do you still look like a normal child?"
I went back contemptuously: "that's what I am. What can you do to me?"
when my father said this, I looked at him in disbelief: "Dad, you are so ridiculous. I don't remember being such a jerk."
my father shook his head: "who can remember bad things?"
my mother also testified: "I remember! At that time, your father and I were so worried that we couldn't sleep every night and comforted each other: as long as we didn't go to jail in the future. "
when I was a teenager, there was no difference between good and bad.
parents don't listen to their advice, and so do their goodwill.
the mantra to my parents at that time was "are you bored? can you stay away from me?"
my father said that he even beat my heart to death at that time.
there are several other things that I only remembered that night.
probably in my third year of junior high school, my mother accidentally found a dagger in my schoolbag.
that's the weapon I sharpened with my family's fruit knife.
my mother was very scared.
but she knew very well that if I openly questioned the origin and use of the knife at that time, I would fall out with them and even do something radical.
so they quietly took the knife and poked a hole in the bottom of my schoolbag, pretending that the knife fell out by itself.
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until I was in high school.
the dream is full of martial arts movies, either I cut someone else, or I was cut down by someone else.
wake up in a cold sweat, and it's hard to fall asleep again.
as for the running away from home after the quarrel with my father in the second year of high school, I remember it.
but I didn't know until this day that my father found me that night.
he wants to take me out of it, but he also knows very well that I will do it again this time.
until I ran out of money, the owner of the game hall asked me to do the cleaning all day.
when I swept to two o'clock in the afternoon, I couldn't do any more and begged my boss to let me go home.
in front of my parents, I am an angry lion, but in front of society, I am a pussy.
the owner of the game hall said, "you can go home if you want. Let me slap you in the face."
I admit that slap in the face.
because I was so homesick at that time, I suddenly felt that no one else in the world would spoil me except my parents.
and my father witnessed the whole process of my being beaten.
but when I got home, he and my mother didn't say anything, just packed a table of food.
in my age of high self-esteem, they have a lot to say, but they can only choose to stop.
I am afraid that the lesson I finally learned from society will be reversed again.
my mother said, for three days and four nights, you are in the game hall and your father is in the street.
"the first time I saw your father, I cried because he looked more than ten years older."
but, at that time, I couldn't see anything.
in my eyes, only the narrowness and joys and sorrows of my own small world.
that night, I was in my room, in my mother's soft quilt during the day, sleeping like a dead pig.
but my parents, who haven't slept for three days and four nights, still can't sleep.
what they are distressed is that I was slapped in the face by the owner of the game hall. They comforted each other: "We have to let him suffer in order to know that heaven and earth is good."
, my puberty seems to be over.
this memory is particularly clear to me.
or more accurately, when I was young in my memory, I began to study hard in the second half of the second year of high school and successfully counterattacked into the dark horse of the college entrance examination.
I remember taking the initiative to curry favor with high achiever and being a deskmate with him.
I remember that the light in the room didn't go out before 12:00.
I remember 10:00 before my grade entered the class for the first time, the teacher wondered if I had made a cheat sheet.
I still remember that when the college entrance examination results came out, my parents were as happy as children, circling around the house.
I remember that my parents sent me to Wuhan to go to college. When I was leaving, I secretly burst into tears and wrote to them: "thanks for your hard work, Mom and Dad. I love you."
later, I graduated from college, worked, got married and had children.
it is said that parents don't know the grace of their parents until they adopt children.
especially after the birth of my son, my relationship with my parents returned to the honeymoon period.
even the neighbors envied my parents: "your son is too careful and filial to give it to a daughter."
but I never thought that I had such a rebellious adolescence.
thinking about my father, a middle-aged father followed me all the way from school, crouching in the game hall, secretly hiding in the corner, I was very sad.
my mother said, "at that time, your father and I were really helpless. That's what it feels like to have children, who can torture their parents like that."
and my dad, unlike my mother, he belongs to the type of scarring and forgetting pain.
after "remembering the past" in one breath, he actually toasted with me:
"son, just remember that this boy has grown up twice. On one occasion, he looked down on his father and felt that he was in charge of his own life. On the other hand, he became a father. Men grew up like this. This is not a thing. "
my father also said something to me earnestly:
"to be a father, to the son, one is love, the other is suffering. Up to your age, father and son will become brothers for many years, but the premise is love, no matter whether the son is cute or not, the more unswerving he is, the more unswerving he is, the more he asks for nothing in return, and loves silently.. Children who grow up in love, even if outrageous, will become reliable sooner or later. "
as he said, he pointed to himself: "then, you see, love comes out and then comes back. I feel very proud when I think of you now."
that night, after drinking and chatting with my dad, I went back to my own house.
before leaving, my father said to me, "if you want to be an old man, you have to pretend to be a grandson for your son. if your son annoys you again, you will come back to your father."
that day, I went downstairs to see my parents who were still watching me on the balcony. My heart was very warm and confident.
I was led by them out of my reckless boyhood.
then, like them, I should accompany my son through puberty with wisdom, patience and firm love.
after this, I am no longer the fiery father I used to be. On the contrary, most of the time, my son can't even light it if he wants to.
he didn't do well in the exam, so he gave it to me for signature, so I signed it with a smile on my face without saying a word.
sometimes, what you don't say is more powerful than what you say.
including that he skipped class twice and went to Internet cafes all night with his classmates.
I knew that my teeth were almost broken before I couldn't get angry. I just said lightly: "I skipped class at school, and every time I skipped enough, I was afraid of falling behind, so I took time to make it up when I got home, and it was more efficient than at school."
I slowly had an epiphany. For the bear children of this period, even if the volcanoes in their hearts were sprayed into their throats, on the surface, I was a calm sea.
the more stable my mood is, the better his state will be.
for a time, my son's English grades plummeted.
after careful questioning, I knew that he was angry with the English teacher, and the English class was almost in a state of not listening.
just because he didn't do well in the exam, the English teacher criticized him in front of the whole class: "I think I can do it every day."
it was an indisputable word of anger, but when it came to his ears, it was evidence of humiliation.
at their age, because of the great pressure on their schoolwork, it is easy to transfer the pressure to all the people related to their studies, such as teachers and parents.
what makes sense?
reason is the last thing to listen to at this age.
so I told him my story.
when I was in high school, I also hated my English teacher. She was average, but she came first in terms of damage.
especially to me, very hostile.
I really wanted to break a can and not learn her subject.
but every time the score was released, the teacher would deliberately pause when he read my name and very low score, and looked at me affectionately with the expression of "sure enough".
her behavior completely stimulated me.
I began to learn English crazily. It is no exaggeration to say that I was forced to memorize words all the time I went to the toilet.
later, every time the English test came out, the teacher was surprised and miserable when he read my score.
"she doesn't like me and can't kill me."
my story made my young face "muscle stiff" son laugh for the first time.
then I found that he was learning the method in my story, and the house was covered with notes on English words.
later, when his grades came up, he took the initiative to sum up with me: "my English teacher is essentially different from your English teacher at that time. Although she has a poisonous mouth, she has a good heart. My grades have come up, and she is happier than I am."