Be a college student who dares to make mistakes

/October 2023

Thorn, I guess you are a man. I'll call you Big Brother.

Big Brother, I am a freshman who has just entered college for 16 years. Before entering the university, I heard all kinds of descriptions of college life, they were all free, there were many waves of time, and the university was heaven. But why when I went to college, I found that it was different from what they described. My courses have been reduced, but I always have other things to delay in my spare time. The college holds, the activities that I have to participate in, the building of the college team, the regular meetings of the organization, and the participation in project activities make me have no other personal time to find things for entertainment and read the information I want to see. I am really tired.

these days I have also been asking myself whether it was because I didn't like some things at all that I made these choices rashly at the beginning of school. Or is he lazy, too lazy to participate in these things, bent on pursuing a comfortable life, and is a mediocre person who does not actively strive for his own life? I'm confused.

finally, I should be a very timid and shy person. If I were asked to express my views or feelings in public, I would be so nervous that I would be nervous all day. I know I have to overcome this, but I really can't do it. What should I do?

I really feel a lot of pressure when I go to college. I worry about something every day. I'm afraid I'll be depressed.


because of your "big brother", then I'll pretend you're a younger brother.

in fact, your question is very simple: "I joined all kinds of organizations, but after a semester, I found that those organizations not only did not let themselves grow, but also took up a lot of their own time. I don't know what to do next."

so what you want to talk about should be the boring meetings that take up your time and the activities you have to attend.

when I first entered college, I was in the same situation as you. I even inexplicably became a clerk of a billiards club after a club recruit, and then swept the building with other clerks with flyers every Thursday afternoon.

and I am also a psychological committee member of our class, so I am asked to learn psychological knowledge every now and then. There are all kinds of meetings that are forced to gather numbers, and every time I attend, I am full of grievances. This state continues until the end of the first semester of my freshman year.

during the winter vacation as a freshman, I took a bus home with two large suitcases. Looking at the countless colorful suitcases on the road, I suddenly wanted to ask myself a question: "if it goes on like this, what kind of person will I be in four years?"

the answer was obvious, so I asked myself another question: "what do I have to do to be what I want to be?"

so at the beginning of the second semester, I resigned all my positions. Then I started to do all kinds of part-time jobs, and I thought of it this way: when I don't know anything, I do everything.

although those part-time jobs are not helpful to my writing, thanks to them, they make me realize what kind of work I don't like and help me understand myself.

I tell you these things because I want to tell you:

one, you don't have to be depressed and confused, because 80% of college students have encountered the difficult difficulties you face. It's just that some people show their anxiety, while others hide it through entertainment and poverty.

two, your anxiety at this moment does not come entirely from the wrong choices you made in the past, but because you are afraid to make choices at this moment.

choose to go on being "busy" like this. No one will say that you have done anything wrong, but you will be unwilling.

and if you choose to leave, you are bound to be blamed by others, because no matter which team it is, it is difficult to accept that members leave for no reason. So don't blame them instead, it's what you should bear if you make the wrong choice. Finally, I don't know why you feel you have to overcome your shyness and shyness. Is there any substantial benefit to you from speaking loudly in public?

what the world needs is diversity, so not everyone needs to be a debater and orator. If you want to express yourself, you may not be the only one to express your opinions in public. Official accounts, Weibo and even Litchi FM are all better places for you.

so I think you should bravely make a choice at this moment instead of continuing to be confused.

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if you insist on my substantive advice, I would advise you to avoid all meetings you don't want to go to, because in my opinion, college meetings are just a waste of everyone's time, and they won't give any effective orders or teach you any useful knowledge.

this is my feeling after four years of college.

but no one can guess the future, even if it is their own future. You have to do it to know if you are right or wrong.

Happy wishes

Zhang thorns