Don't laugh, you will graduate one day.

/October 2023


because of the internship, I have to leave at seven o'clock in the morning, and it is already 10:30 when I go back to the dormitory in the evening. 10:30 is an awkward time. The hot water is no longer hot, but it is not cold enough to be a reason to refuse to take a bath.

so if you hear someone singing loudly and out of tune while taking a bath at 10:30 in the evening, the person who is taking a bath must be a fresh graduate.

I dried my shivering body with a towel, then ran out to put on the down hanging by the bed and said to my roommate,

"lend me two coins and turn Wechat around."

"OK, and yesterday's meal money, you forgot to give it, 13 yuan."


I stuffed the coin into the coin box above the washing machine and pressed the red button: "18 minutes quick wash, only two yuan."

I thought about leaving these two pieces, but one of my roommates woke me up and asked me, "if we still have to wash our clothes by hand after the internship, what's the point of our internship?"

I think he is right, because internship means that we are no longer a college student who knows nothing, we are finally needed by the society, and we can make money on our own.

but that red button seems to connect my sadness. Every time I press it, I always feel really lonely.

because it seems that in addition to not having to wash clothes by hand, internship gives me more pain.

because of my internship, I have to take a cold shower; I have to take a bus for two hours a day; I continue to endure vaguely sore shoulders and cervical vertebrae, a verbose boss; and I continue to work repeatedly and without any creativity. Finally move on to the future that can't see the future.

that is to say, before and after the internship, the only thing I changed was that I didn't have to wash clothes by hand anymore.

"Oh, that's a sad fact."

the voice in my heart said to me in a tone full of disdain and helplessness.

this is how I answered the voice in my heart: "Oh."


others don't set our future. We ask for it.

A few days ago, the teacher suddenly asked us to come back for a meeting related to the graduation thesis. But at the appointed time, less than half the people came, and the team leader sat next to me and asked me, "have you asked for leave?"

I said "Yes", and then the group leader began to complain to me about how much effort he had taken to ask for leave. He worked as an intern in a primary school, and the instructor required all interns to take exercises. So he had to get up at 06:30 every morning to prepare. "I often see some students dozing while doing chest expansion exercises, how sad."

I still remember that three years ago, he said to me, "although I chose this major, I didn't even become a teacher. I didn't have the temper to teach those kids." I want to be a programmer, don't laugh, I'm serious. "

when he was a freshman, he was obsessed with all kinds of programming tutorials every day, but before long, his ideal career changed. He wanted to be a LOL anchor, opening a Taobao store and selling a lot of jerky pork.

but he didn't make it either as a programmer or as a seller of dried pork. In fact, I am not surprised that he finally chose the career of "teacher". Because many people in our class have become primary school Chinese teachers.

We were told four years ago that most people in this class had only two ways out: to be a teacher or to be an ordinary clerk.

and at that time, we thought that the above sentence was simply insulting us.

"We didn't work so hard to prepare for the college entrance examination so that you could predict our future," one student retorted.

results four years later, we have not lived as we imagined, and everyone seems to have accepted the prophecy of four years ago. The most abominable thing is that this time, we can no longer blame the parents, the school, the education system, and we can only blame ourselves for not working hard. We even blame ourselves for not knowing where to work.

when the group leader was going to complain to me about how dragged the children in the class were, the thesis teacher came in, and the group leader greeted him and said, "Mr. Zhou, those students who didn't come really can't ask for leave, so they can't arrive today."

I thought my teacher would be furious and scold, "if they didn't have a graduation thesis, they couldn't even be interns." who knew she just nodded and said, "it's good to get a job." then work hard and send them the minutes of the meeting. "

then she looked at the people present, her eyes full of pity.

"if I had known, I wouldn't have come, which cost me another hundred yuan." That's what the classmate on my left said.


final confession before graduation.

it was a rare day. I was finally able to sit in my dorm and enjoy a lazy afternoon, so as soon as I finished lunch, I climbed into bed and shouted, "Damn it, I don't know why." I feel sleepy as soon as I finish my meal. "

then play with your phone in bed and enter siesta mode by reading the dim light of the software interface.

but I couldn't sleep this afternoon. I turned over and over to find the answer: maybe it's because I'm the only one left in our dorm.

I sat on the bed and looked around the dormitory where I had lived for two years. The other beds were already empty, and only the sundries on the stage proved that they had lived here.

"go our separate ways" is a terrible word. Those relationships that can suddenly rise in the middle of the night to eat midnight snacks cannot resist its lethality at all. And you can't choose when to face it, because those people, anytime, anywhere.To leave you for a better future.

it's like you can leave them anytime, anywhere.

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suddenly, I heard the younger brother in the dormitory next door fighting, shouting, "Today I'll practice playing wild", "come on, why don't you do it?" and "I'm going to kill you alone."

"how passionate it is." I said as I packed my bags.

in the past, I would feel happy because of killing as he did, and I would practice hard for dozens of hours for the word "getting stronger." he said painstakingly, "if you can have fun, you can have fun, and there will be no fun after graduation."

We laughed and said, "you're about to graduate, so at least give us a bowl of chicken soup."

he smiled and said, "it's no use. When I was a freshman, my brother asked me to study hard, find my hobby and stick to it." As a result, I still have to go back to work in the town, which is no different from what I imagined four years ago. The only difference is that I went back to town not because my family forced me to, but because I had to go back to work in the town. "

with that, he poured himself a whole glass of beer, then turned away and waited for the tears to flow down.

now it's finally my turn.

I dragged my suitcase into the milk tea shop where I had been to countless times in my four years of college, and wanted to order another cup of pearl milk tea for 10 yuan before I left. While waiting for packing, I found that the store was already full of brothers and sisters. Ten or twenty people divided into two tables and said, "Please close your eyes when it gets dark." then this newspaper prophet, that one smiled and said to jump to kill.

I was wondering if I could join them. But I gave up.

they are so happy, so carefree, that happy appearance, it is simply glowing. And at this moment, I am simply overshadowed by them.

I said in the WeChat group of the dormitory: "I have returned all the keys to the hostel."

when I dragged my luggage on the bus, I saw one of my roommates reply: "take care and get together again later."

as far as I know, we won't see each other again.


"four years of college only taught me one thing: accept the reality"

"but still work hard secretly, can't you?"