From now on, you have to stop doing 15 things to yourself.

/October 2023

Zhang Ke Grain


likes a sentence very much:

"what determines life is not what you choose to do, but what you choose not to do."

what you don't do when you don't know what to do is more important than trying blindly.

because time is the biggest cost, I won't stop waiting for you.

the following list of "Life is not for" is for you who aspire to be better.


Don't dwell on who you used to be

most people may have finished 1/4 or 1/5 of their lives.

regardless of whether or not you went to the university of your choice, whether you worked in a well-known company, or whether you were married or emotionally unhappy;

whether you feel anxious and confused, these are all part of your life experience that you should have.

but these only belong to the past, not to the present, or to the future.

if you always live in the past, you will lose yourself, lose your way, and lose your basic judgment.

time is always moving forward, and if you insist on going back, you are bound to get hurt again.


Don't care too much about other people's eyes

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people will be miserable if they care too much about other people's opinions when they are alive.

people are hard to tune, and no one will really satisfy everyone.

it is enough to keep an open mind, whether it is conservative or public.


Don't fall into the social circle

ask your heart what you want when you are lonely, instead of using friendship and love as a refuge when you are lonely.

if this is the case, not only despise life, but also value others, you will never be able to experience the "self".

A person finally has to return to himself and pay attention to himself.

people are as small as dust in the universe, we are always alone, but being alone is not a bad thing.


Don't start doing something

doubt that you can't.

do you think in advance that you can't do it every time you set a goal, that you can't do it, and that your subconscious mind thinks of the worst?

in fact, it is not other problems that cause you to fail, but you always think about it in your heart, so you fail.

this is the law of attraction of the universe, you attract "negative energy".


Don't always take a dead salary

Today, with the rapid development of the Internet, it is completely different from that of decades ago.

people who always think about taking a dead salary will not even say hello to you when they are eliminated from society.


Don't fail to refuse

is it difficult to say "no" in the face of other people's requests?

you should beware of becoming a "flattering personality". People who don't know how to refuse now are more likely to be rejected by others in the future.


Don't always complain

complaining about having a good time does not solve the problem, and may even magnify negative emotions, leading to worse results.

it is a compulsory course for everyone to learn to turn negative things into positive thoughts.


Don't be embarrassed to talk about money with others

"I heard that you can write revelations. Could you take the time to guide me?"

"I heard that you are a career planner. Could you listen to my career confusion?"

tell them that they can pay for consultation.

it is said that talking about money hurts feelings, but we are not talking about money, but we are talking about majors.


Don't pin all your future on your partner

I am all I have, the most precious thing.


Don't be untidy

if you don't have a good-looking face, you must have a comfortable temperament.

after all, the first thing people see is your appearance compared to your mind.


Don't be too greedy. You want everything

do you struggle when you make a choice?

afraid of choosing this and losing that.

I'm afraid that if I choose that one, this one will regret it.

if you want everything, there must be more regrets.

because life is about the conservation of gain and loss, you have to pay a "price" for what you want and what you have.


Don't pursue perfectionism

how to define perfectionism?

always judge yourself by what you expect of yourself, not by the result or process of your work.

because of this, I always lead to my own logical confusion, so that I am in a bad mood every time before the due date.

pursue perfection too much, set yourself a standard of perfection that is difficult to achieve, and ignore the principle of completion first and then perfection, and you will become a maladaptive perfectionist.


Don't be afraid of failure

I used to be afraid of "failure". I always wondered what other people would think of me and found that I was not as good as I thought.

always fails because he is afraid of failure.

now, I learn to be brave in everything I do. A failure does not mean a "failure in life". At most, I find that this road is not feasible.


Don't lose the important three rules of life

remember to forgive yourself;

remember to have a good meal;

remember to sleep well.


Don't forget to be kind occasionally,

is saving your lucky account



", at some point in the future, you will have unexpected luck.