If you don't like others, your own pattern is not enough.

/October 2023

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some people say: "appreciation of a person begins with appearance, matches with character, lasts longer than kindness, and ends with character."

it is a long process of sublimation that there are many inducements to get to know each other.

but having a bad relationship with others, it ends simply because it is "unpleasing to the eye".

We often think that if we don't like one person, it must be that others have too many shortcomings.

do not realize that when you don't like others, you have the most problems.

your evaluation is not necessarily a true feedback on the character of others, but it must be a deep reflection of the self-pattern.

do not like others,

your own pattern is not enough

there is a hot question on the Internet: "Why do some people always dislike others?"

highly praised replied: "because of narrow-mindedness, always have hostility to others, infinitely magnify other people's shortcomings and ignore their advantages."

look at people in a critical way, and everyone will be vulnerable.

people who dislike others seem to be picky, but in fact they are the ones who pull them down.

I have seen a post on the Internet:

designer Meng Yu got good grades from an early age. After graduating from university, she joined the design institute to work. She has good working ability, but she is not popular in the company.

when she first arrived at the company, Meng Yu had great respect for her colleagues and leaders. After establishing a firm foothold, her attitude changed.

Meng Yu thinks that the old employees are just seniority, their professional level is not good at all, and they are just fooling around.

she dislikes her colleagues everywhere and scoffs at them:

the designs made by others are nothing new to her;

others bring their own lunch to the office. She thinks that others are too stingy to enjoy life.

when others talk about trivial things about the family, she thinks that the pattern of other people's parents is too small.

later, Meng Yu even looked down on his own leader.

at a meeting, the leaders put forward a new proposal, which most people agreed with, and Meng Yu did not oppose it.

but as soon as she walked out of the conference room, she complained to her colleagues, "this plan is too corny!"

colleagues show displeasure and retort, "you can come up with a better plan. Don't just talk and do nothing."

she felt like a pain in her throat.

in such a big design institute, Meng Yu thinks she is the most perfect, but the reality is that she is the most pitiful.

people who always dislike others are bound to be rejected by others.

there is a "projection effect" in psychology:

refers to a person's cognition and opinion of others, which projects and imposes one's own feelings, will and characteristics on others.

others are a mirror of yourself, and your views and attitudes towards others reflect your inner realm.

what kind of person you are, you will see what others are like.

if you are mean and arrogant, all you think about is the wicked; if you are kind and modest, you can see all the good people.

you don't like others because you don't have enough pattern.

True maturity begins with thinking of others

A mage was invited to the temple to preach the Dharma, and the monk served tea to the mage.

as soon as the guest monk put down the teacup, he found a small gap in the teacup, apologized and said, "Master, I'm sorry, there is a gap in the cup."

the mage smiled and took the teacup, turned the gap into the palm of his hand and asked, "look again, is there any gap?"

the hospitality monk replied, "if you look at it this way, it's really gone."

the Master said, "if you don't look at the gap, there will be no gap in your heart."

the cup is also like a person, and a person is also like a cup, with different angles and different worlds.

change the angle, turn the direction, and things will be different.

on a day of heavy rain, the takeout boy received an urgent order. He rode an electric bike and sped through the rain.

while crossing the zebra crossing, he suddenly found a faltering old man crossing the road. In order to avoid the old man, he suddenly made a sudden stop.

although the car braked, takeout flew out and spilled all over the floor.

the takeout guy panicked, and he called the customer nervously:

"Sir, yes. Yes I'm sorry I spilled your takeout to avoid the old man crossing the street. "

after saying this, the takeout boy waited for the customer's reprimand and complaint, but the other end of the phone said:

"it's all right. You're kind, too. The road is slippery when the rain is too heavy. I'll just order another one."

at that moment, the takeout boy was relieved. Although Rain Water had wet his clothes, he was very warm inside.

when I think of the wind and rain, the sun warms up.

between people, do not seek empathy, a little more understanding of others, is the greatest tenderness.

Napoleon Hill said:

know how to be considerate of others, be able to really look at problems, think about problems, and really help others solve problems from other people's standpoint, the world is yours.

Life is a hexahedron, clinging to its own perspective and never knowing the difficulties of others.

A person's true maturity begins with knowing how to think of others.

as the saying goes:

"there are steep peaks on the side of the winding mountains, but there are a variety of things in the past from far and low."

if you don't know how to think of others, you will never understand all aspects of life.

only from the point of view of others can we be comprehensive.Have an insight into life and shake hands with it.

your pattern will improve in the transformation, and your life will change for the better in empathy.

people with large patterns are pleasing to everyone

people who are really powerful will never look down upon others and will always maintain a humble and peaceful state of mind.

during the period of the three Kingdoms, after Zhuge Liang died, Jiang Kui became the prime minister of Shu.

Chiang Kai-shek has a subordinate named Yang Opera. He is withdrawn and does not like to talk.

on one occasion, Chiang Kai-shek took the initiative to talk to Yang Opera. Yang only answered briefly and walked away without answering his words.

others couldn't bear to watch and said to Chiang Kai-shek, "he's too arrogant when you talk to Yang Opera and he ignores him."

Jiang Jie smiled calmly and replied:

"everyone has his own character, and it is not in his nature to let Yang Opera praise me in public;

you want to oppose me and publicize my mistakes.

so he is silent, which is his precious character. "

on another occasion, Yang Min, the governor of Shu Han, slandered Chiang Kai-shek, saying that he was confused and inferior to his predecessors.

subordinates told Jiang Kui the words, and the person in charge of law and discipline requested that Yang Min be investigated and punished.

Chiang Kai-shek said, "I'm really not as good as my predecessors. I have nothing to pursue."

the person in charge of law and discipline said, "but aren't you confused?"

Chiang Kai-shek said, "if it is not as good as the ancients, then things will not be handled well and things will naturally be confused."

after hearing this, everyone admired Jiang Kui for his magnanimity, and later generations praised him for "being able to ride a boat in the belly of the prime minister."

Chiang Kai-shek can not rise to a high position without his broad mind in dealing with others.

your attitude towards others reveals the deepest pattern.

people with different hearts have their own faces, and people with large patterns are pleasing to everyone's eyes.

Gibran said:

A great man has two hearts: one bleeds and the other is forgiving.

there is great tolerance in accepting all kinds of rivers, and people must be tolerant if they have enough.

people are mutual. If you like others, they will be gentle to you.

the best attitude to get along with others is:

look down on the vicissitudes of life and feel safe and sound.

like this sentence very much:

"allow yourself to be different, you are a maverick; allow others to be different, and you will accept all kinds of rivers."

everything in the world is different, you and I are secular people.

when we are young, it is difficult for us to accept the differences of others and regard our own likes and dislikes as the standard.

after going through the vicissitudes of life, after half of our life, we finally understand that being able to accept others happily is the real excellence.

it is painful to be demanding of others, but happy to ask for yourself.

instead of bothering to dislike others, it is better to immerse yourself in improving your self-pattern.

when you get bigger, you will be at peace with others and your life will be smooth.

, may you have a big pattern, be calm, and be lenient to the people around you.