It's okay. You don't have to be nice to me anymore.

/October 2023

Lao tie has been very upset recently, not because he has become a backup, but because he does not know how to be a good backup.

he says good night on time every night, and attends classes for girls every morning. The old man is kind to that girl, as even the blind can see.

looking at the girl who did not respond, everyone felt sorry for the old man to make a spare tire.

but the old man said in a way that sees through the world of mortals: "it doesn't matter, because love can't be controlled." Isn't there a saying that I like you and have nothing to do with you? "

but do not know why, obviously he thinks he has been very kind to the girl, but the other party has been angry with him recently and does not want to talk to him more.

the old man ran up to me and asked me, "is the one who likes better always weaker?" Is it true that the spare tire will never be satisfactory? "

I don't know how to reply to him, because the girl I like has already approached me once.

that girl's name is Ah er. Late one night, the first word she ran over was: "how can you make a person give up and stay away from you forever?"

at that time, I joked that it was different to look good, and it was chased every day. When Ah er asked me again, I realized that she was really annoying.

An er said that she had explicitly rejected the boy, but the boy seemed to be unable to understand the language, and still used what he called "good" to treat An er.

"Damn it, his attitude makes me feel like I owe him something." It was the first time I heard Ah er say foul language.

what annoys her most is that because boys make no secret of "I like you", and even people around her have such rumors: "Don't always play with others if you don't like it."

An er has only one thought now, and that is to ask the other party to leave her alone. The strong man of the old iron treated her like a broken arm, and at this moment he became an invisible shackle, trapping Ah er in an awkward predicament.

at a time like this, wishful thinking of "being nice to you" has become a kind of "self-righteous" sexual harassment.

I once said good night to a girl for a year, and she didn't reply at all.

many people said that she was ruthless and indifferent, while others angrily defended me and asked her why she didn't explain it to me directly if she didn't like it.

I'm not angry. I'm just sad. I asked a friend to ask her if she hated me because I did something wrong, so she wouldn't be satisfied with what I did.

she thought about it for a long time and said, "the only thing you do wrong is to be nice to me."

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I didn't understand at that time, and it wasn't until Ah er came to me that I suddenly realized that such kindness would make people feel guilty.

even if I said it was my own business to be nice to her, she still couldn't convince herself to accept it for this reason.

so she can only ignore it coldly and reject it outside the door.

is it an one-person thing to like? Maybe it is.

but when you show your love, it's not a personal thing.

I gradually hate the phrase "I like you, it's none of your business".

too many people put this sentence on their lips, and then use this sentence to plug the mouth of the person they like, to be a "spare tire" in a brave way, and to be nice to each other.

but when I saw Lao tie vividly saying his "good" of being on time good night, delivering breakfast on time, and attending class on time, I didn't feel any love at all-he only said how he was, and never thought about how he was.

in fact, as long as he pays a little attention, he can feel the embarrassment of An er talking to him, he can see the embarrassment of others pointing at An er in class, and he can understand why An er was hurt by his good.

Lao Tie's "giving" is forcibly put into the past regardless of the feelings of others. Even, after stuffing this unwanted item, he smiled and touched his head and said, "Don't say thank you to me, I just want to be nice to you."

this kind of love is like a sugar-coated pill. Outsiders see the sweet side, but only those who take the medicine understand the bitterness inside.

finally, I have seen too many hurtful "spare tyres", have also been such hurtful "spare tyres", and have seen too many aggrieved people who are stung by the "spare tire" but unable to speak.

slowly I began to understand that

the so-called "good" is a heavy yoke, it will put a burden on people.

while the so-called "giving" moves oneself, it may also hurt others.

see clearly the shackles and injuries.

good night.