People's Daily publishes the self-check list of unqualified parents' behavior! For the sake of the children, please take a patient look!

/October 2023

for children, studying hard is the most important responsibility. For parents, educating their children well is not only a lifelong responsibility, but also a success that no career can match. However, in recent years, there have been repeated failures in education. Children grow up only once, and education cannot be withdrawn and restarted. Parents' influence on their children lasts a lifetime. As parents, we don't need exams, but we must keep on studying, reflect frequently, and take responsibility for our children's life. People's Daily once summed up a self-examination form for the behavior of unqualified parents. Please compare it one by one: 1. Give special treatment to children two。 Children make mistakes and protect them face to face. 3. Pay too much attention to children 4. Easily meet unreasonable requirements 5. Allow children to be lazy 6. Beg the child. 7. Arranged substitution 8. get excited over a little thing 9. Deprivation of independence 10. Be afraid of crying Parents' love for their son is far-reaching. Having control, teaching and punishment is the best love for children. When a child has a problem, it is often the family education that is the source. Parents must check themselves in time so as not to let your wrong way of education delay the growth of their children. Ten knives for family education How many did you win? The first knife: care too much, so that children do not cherish. Many parents are always cautious about their children, but their children do not know how to be grateful, your excessive concern will be taken for granted, for a long time, the child will not cherish. The second knife: nagging too much, causing the child to rebel. Every time the parents "preach", they stand on the opposite side of the child to criticize him. If parents arm themselves with authority, children protect themselves with emotion. The third knife: too much intervention, resulting in children's lack of autonomy. Many parents love their children so much that they want to dress them, feed them and do their homework. If parents keep intervening and do it for them, they will deprive their children of the opportunity to grow up. The fourth knife: expect too much, making it difficult for children to bear. If parents' expectations and requirements of their children are too high, it will cause great psychological pressure on their children. Once the child is unable to finish, he will blame himself and be hit hard, and the serious ones will lose confidence. The fifth knife: blame too much, causing the child to lose motivation. Some parents will only blame their children when they encounter problems, do not think of ways to solve them, and do not reflect on themselves, which will make their children feel inferior. It is said that "parents are the best teachers". The excellence of children is inseparable from their parents' education, and children's problems are also related to their parents. The sixth knife: indulge too much, causing the child to be unrestrained. Children will have many problems in their growth and develop many bad habits. if parents give in and make concessions again and again, they will certainly spoil their children. Love without rules, without bottom line connivance, will only cause harm to children. The seventh knife: care too much, resulting in children blackmailing parents. Many parents take their children too seriously to distinguish between right and wrong. As a result, they humble themselves to the dirt, but their children are ungrateful. A pair of parents who are child-centered will lose themselves. It must be unfortunate for a family that focuses on children. The eighth knife: enjoy too much, so that the child does not know frugality. Many parents misunderstand the saying, "No matter how hard you can't suffer your child." everything is the best for your child. As a result, the noble son of the rich family is working hard, while the poor family is rich in raising the black sheep, making the child selfish and losing the ability to be independent and love. The ninth knife: too much satisfaction, resulting in children's lack of happiness. Some parents think that doing their best to satisfy their children is the best support for them. The truth is, the easier it is for children to be satisfied, the less they understand the principle of hard work and harvest. The 10th knife: spoil too much, so that the child can not grow up. Habitual children are like killing children, it is the nature of parents to dote on their children, but it is their fault to dote on their children. If you dote on your children too much, they will not understand the rules, have no upbringing, and will certainly lose miserably when they enter the society. Ten years later, promising children All come from these seven families. The first kind: families that love to learn. If you want your child to love reading, you should first be a scholar. Family education needs to create a studious and enterprising atmosphere. Parents often read and study at home, and children will naturally look like their parents. The second kind: families with good relationships Parental love and family harmony are the best gifts we can give to our children. Such children receive more attention and favor from an early age, have more sense of security at heart, and have a more confident, friendly and likable personality. The third kind: a family with rules. "Love children" and "rules" are never a single topic. Children obey the rules at home, only when they enter school, and only when they get out of society can they strictly abide by the law. The fourth kind: the family with three values. Parents' three values are the three values of a family, which will infect each other and teach their children by deeds and deeds. An excellent family must begin with companionship, be trapped in education and be loyal to the three values. Fifth: families that attach importance to education The family is the child's first school, and the parents are the child's first teacher. Only when parents attach importance to education first, will children face up to learning and form good habits and harvest good grades under the cultivation of their parents. Type 6: positive and optimistic families Psychologists have found that the positive and optimistic qualities of children can be cultivated and must be rooted in family education. Parents' positive and optimistic attitude towards life is affecting their children, so that they can face life and learning with a smile. The seventh kind: the family of mercy and benevolence. It is not enough to teach children to rely on love alone, but also to have strict discipline, correct guidance, and appropriate methods. Good children must be carefully educated by their parents, and bear children must be indulged and spoiled by their parents. The pattern of the father Determine the height of the child It is often said that a good father is better than 200 good teachers. No one can match the father's influence on his children and the education he gives to his children. Children who grow up with their father's company and education will be more optimistic, cheerful, confident and self-motivated, and have obvious advantages in all aspects compared with children who lack the companionship of their father from an early age. When the father is strong-willed, the child learns to be indomitable When the father is brave and independent, the child learns to be strong and fearless. When the father is broad-minded, the child learns to be generous and tolerant. When the father makes a clear distinction between right and wrong, the child learns to stick to his principles. The power of example is great. As educationist Sukhomlinski said: Every father is an emissary, and only when the emissary continues to learn and correct his own ideas and conduct can the children be able to stand on their own feet in the crowd. In a family, fathers are the best role models and educational resources for their children. Every man can be a father, but not every father has the ability to be a good father. Behind a successful child, there must be a successful father, setting an excellent example for the child and establishing a lofty pattern. The father's pattern, which determines the future of the child, is the source of strength that the child needs most in the process of growing up. Mother's mood Decide the fate of a child. Mo Yan said on the podium of the Nobel Prize for Literature that the person who influenced his life was his mother: "my mother taught me what is great love and affection, what is tolerance and understanding, what is compassion and compassion, what is honesty and shame. What is strong and unyielding, what is life and life, what is study and life, what is dream and ambition. " If the father is at the helm and leader of the family, then the mother is the regulating valve and oxygen machine of a family. For children, the father is the most trusted person, the mother is the most dependent person. The biggest sense of security of a child comes from the mother. When the child is very young, the mother should give full love, let the child feel sense of security, and thus generate trust in others and the world. British educator Barlow once said: Education begins at the mother's knee, and every word a child listens to affects the formation of his or her character. When the mother is moody, the child is afraid and worried. When the mother complains, the child is unhappy. When the mother is gentle and kind, the child is optimistic and warm. If the mother is tolerant and magnanimous, the child will have empathy. The mother decides the temperature of a home, but also imperceptibly determines the human temperature of the child. Educate one's children well It is the most important career in a parent's life. People's Daily once pointed out in an article: educating good children is the most important cause in parents' lives. No matter how much money parents earn and how much honor they get, it is not as good as the honor of educating their children. Parents are lifelong teachers of their children and have a responsibility for their children all their lives. As the most important imitators of children, we should give them excellent habits, qualities, personality and attitude, so as to lay a good foundation for their growth. Family is not only the first classroom for children, but also the classroom for the whole life of children. As the place that affects children for the longest time and plays the most far-reaching role, we must attach importance to family education and prepare for the development of children. Education is a long process of spiritual practice. Not only children but also parents should continue to learn and grow. Educator Makalienko once said: "Don't think that it is education only when you are lecturing and ordering your children, every moment of your life, even when you are not present!" Come on! For the sake of our children, we must lead by example, be strict with ourselves all the time, everywhere and everything, and become a good example for our children.

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