The highest level of self-discipline in adults is to lower expectations of others.
there is such a saying: "I gradually understand why I am not happy, because I always expect a result."
the more you expect, the more regrets you will have, and most of the collapses are due to the fact that things are not what you want, and things do not follow my heart.
but there are many ups and downs in this world, whose life can be plain sailing?
so always get used to it, reduce dependence, lower expectations, and control sensitivity.
is a bit more natural. Anyway, it is more likely to have unexpected surprises.
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the sketch "what is a friend" feels profound and helpless from the first time.
Pan Changjiang is a righteous person in the sketch. Every time a friend is in trouble, he does his best to help others. His wife said, "you try your best to help others, but if one day you are in trouble, they may not be able to sincerely help you."
Pan Changjiang thought it was impossible, so the couple took a test. He pretended to be bankrupt and called a very close friend for help.
first he called Lao Qian.
as soon as I borrowed 1 million, the other party hung up on the grounds of signal difference, and when I called back, it was already a cold tone: "the phone you dialed has been turned off."
he called Lao Sun, who had been close to him again, but Lao Sun said to him, "Don't mention money among friends!"
at this time, Xiao Li Deng, an apprentice trained by Pan Changjiang, visited.
it is said that a teacher is like a father, but as soon as he heard that he borrowed money, Xiao Li repeatedly shirked and even took away the gifts he had brought before he left.
when you are happy, you are warm; when you are poor, the world is cold.
We can't judge whether others are right or wrong, but if we expect too much from others, when the gap appears, we will only be psychologically hurt.
there is a saying in Zengguang Xianwen:
"humanity is like a thin sheet of paper, and the world is like a new chess game."
the older you get, the more you understand that most people only care about whether you fly high or not, and really few people really care whether you are tired or not.
it is not easy for people to take care of themselves, and their superimposed expectations are worrying about themselves.
in the TV series ordinary Glory, there is a plot that is particularly realistic.
company was worried about a project, but Wu found that the company's CEO was his best friend in junior high school. He immediately assured the leader that he would take care of it.
Wu Yizhi went to see his best friend Jiaohuan.
the attitude of the other party is as enthusiastic as ever. They laugh and greet each other, and Wu Jinzhi is more confident of reaching a conclusion of cooperation.
but when he wanted to say what he was coming for, the other party first said that he was busy at the moment and asked him to wait.
wait for hours.
when the best friend returned to the conference hall again, Wu Zhizhi hurriedly handed the pen over and said, "if you sign the contract, the cooperation will be done."
the focal ring didn't pick up the pen and said with a smile, "signing a contract is no joke!"
Wu Jinzhi thinks that this is also natural, so treat yourself to dinner and introduce the details of the cooperation at the table.
however, at the dinner table, the other party just asked him to drink and avoided talking about the contract until the end of the show.
the next day, Wu Jinzhi received the news that the other company refused to sign the contract. He called the focal circle to confirm it, and the answer he got was still a firm refusal.
only at that time did Wu really understand that he had overestimated.
in reality, there are many such examples, thinking that if you have a good friendship, you can talk about things, and that if you have a strong relationship, you will not be rejected, but in the end, you can only laugh at others being cold and laughing at yourself as ridiculous.
as the book says:
"to maintain a relationship, the less you expect, the better. If you don't have any expectations, you can love unconditionally."
all relationships are like this, and high expectations not only force others, but also bind yourself.
the maturity of worldly sophistication often begins by lowering expectations.
A counselor talked about what happened when she was with her husband.
when she is in love, she always hopes that the other person can take the initiative to be romantic and looks forward to receiving exquisite gifts such as lipstick and perfume, but they are all real things such as soymilk machines and casseroles.
because of the other party's "amorous feelings", she often beat around the bush in the hope that the other person can change, but also hope that the other side can learn some psychological knowledge.
but it didn't take long for such a demand to directly lead to the conflict between the two people, and their emotions became more and more negative.
then she began to reflect on herself whether she had done anything wrong.
sometimes we are more demanding of people who are closer to us, and we often make such mistakes.
the higher the expectation, the more you want to change others. In the end, you can only be tired and aggrieved by the other person.
so when the counselor changed her mind, she no longer complained that her husband could not satisfy her ideal emotional state, but thanked each other from the bottom of her heart and seriously managed the relationship.
to ask too much of others is to torture yourself. If you have no expectations, you will have the best expectations.
asWhat Liao Yimei said:
"the less a person needs his people, the more comfortable he will live." No one, even if he is willing, can not fully meet the needs of another person, and the only way is to stop himself. "
everything you want is bitter, and if you have no desire, you are tough.
there is a passage saying:
"A high-quality relationship occurs when you no longer expect someone to save you. It is also when you do not expect a lot of people and things, but will find that life is full of surprises. "
when the moon is full, it loses; when the water is full, it overflows; everything goes too far, and high expectations for the outside world are often woven into self-bound cocoons.
to lower your expectations is to change yourself instead of forcing others.
only in this way can meeting really become a gift, and what you gain and lose is also a kind of growth.
, reduce dependence, lower expectations, restrain sensitivity and live a serious life.
the rest of my life is long. Remember to save time for yourself and be an easily contented and happy adult. Okay?