When will you dare to pursue it?

/October 2023

the first day of work is on Friday night, because in the business area, plus the second day is the weekend, so more people come. I have to scoop things up, pour things, and load things quickly. In the whole busy process, the only way to communicate with others is this: "Welcome next time."

the next day, I still arrived at work on time, and everything I did was the same as last night. Even because I was used to this monotonous pattern, as I scooped things, I kept thinking: if I repeat this work 365 days a year.

on the way back to the dormitory, I couldn't help thinking about what I had done in the past eight hours. So, when I realized that I was just constantly repeating the three processes of scooping, pouring and loading, I suddenly felt a strong sense of discomfort and fear.

it's not that I look down on this job, but I know from the bottom of my heart that I hate this kind of work, and I can't find any motivation to stick to it, let alone a trace of happiness.

at that moment I was keenly aware of some lives that I couldn't stand at all. And if I don't make some changes, I will hate myself in the life I hate.

I'm starting to get a little scared, because the premise of effort and change is that you know what you want and what you want to be. And at that time, I didn't know.

when I quit my job on the fourth day, I had only one idea: if I didn't know what I wanted, try it crazily and let me know what I didn't want.

I'm exposed to design, game evaluation, teaching, and programming. I know more and more what I don't like, but I get more and more flustered-- because there seems to be less and less road, and I'm afraid I'll have to make a compromise in the end.

finding the life you love is a matter of luck. There may be something you really love, but you may not meet it.

it's just that I know that when I meet something I like, I'm sure to have this idea: well, that's it.

in April 2016, there was disorganized recruitment. I still sent my resume with the idea of giving it a try. I don't know why, when Zhang Jingzhi replied me, I suddenly got a little flustered and a little happy.

but it's a pity that I didn't make it into chaos. When I felt as if I had missed something important, I realized that it seemed to be it.

Zhang Jingshi didn't give me any encouragement or comfort. He said something that can only be called polite when I come to think of it, and then ignored me.

"the story is a little interesting."

so, after finding something I like, I am even more afraid, I am afraid that I can not hold this love.

when I share with people around me that I want to try to write, people around me keep telling me that it's not realistic. "this job is too empty"you are a science student, how can you write a good article"give up and be a good programmer"

so I gave up the idea of being "disorganized" and stopped talking to anyone about it. Continue to try. However, the more I try, the more things I hate, the more often I look back and keep staring at the "writing" thing.

one day when Lao Yan and I were having midnight snacks, I sighed and said, "I always feel as if I can only follow my major in the future."

Lao Yan mocked me with disdain: "seriously, no one wants it even if you want to take a professional path." You have neither a good school nor good skills, and a professional counterpart can guarantee you a job? Now you have nothing at all. "


strangely enough, this sad remark didn't demoralize me. Instead, I came up with an idea that I can no longer give up: nothing means starting from scratch. So, why don't I just do what I like?

people who have nothing can often burst out with amazing courage. Just like the person at the bottom of the valley, he dared to rush forward recklessly because he knew it wouldn't get worse no matter what.

during the summer vacation of 16 years, everyone around me thought I was crazy. I insist on reading a book a day, and if there is no book to read, I will read it again. Crazy writing, crazy contribution. Be rejected, keep voting, be rejected again, vote again.

this is the greatest advantage of having nothing, and you will feel that all setbacks and efforts are deserved. Until September of 16 years, it was disorganized and recruited again.

that week, after I finished writing a 28000-word novel to take part in the competition, I wrote a total of six thousand words and threw it into a mess.

Zhang Jingshi came to me again, but I knew that he didn't really want me when he came to me. He said write another article. When he finished writing and sent the manuscript to him, he said something wrong, and then ignored me.

when I sent him the article that had been revised for the sixth time, he finally said, "send it out and try it." When I saw the three words Wang Zepeng written in the author's column that night, I said to the thorns nonsensically, "Thank you." I really do. "

I never explained to the thorns why I wanted to say thank you-I seemed to be close to the life I wanted, though only a little.

I know I'm still a long way off, but from that article, I changed from "nothing" to "have a little something".

A few days ago, I chatted with a friend who also likes to write articles. His major is similar to mine. Now he is working on a project with his teacher, and his internship is also on the programmer's side.

when talking about the future, he said that his job would be stable in a few years.He should jump out of the programmer and try to work in the media.

there was a sentence I didn't say that day: "We don't have real pressure in college." When you go out to work, the pressure of rent, the difficulty of social recruitment, the rising cost of study, and so on, why should you tell me what you dare not do at this time? when the pressure is even greater in the future, you will have the courage. "

do you believe that some things are not done now and will not be done in the future? Do you believe that some misses actually last a lifetime?

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now, when I rack my brains to write something I like, when I see that my story can give people strength, I think, that's great. It was great that I, who had nothing, made this decision.

really, not everyone can realize that they have nothing, and not everyone really has the courage to pursue the way of life they want.

one of my purposes in writing this article is to encourage people to find what they want and pursue the life they want.

and the second purpose is-- we're recruiting again. Our fee is not very high, but it is enough to buy a lot of bottles of Vitasoy. And we can give you a platform to express your ideas, as well as the opportunity to make progress together.

but disorganized, as long as the good people. So remember to use your works to talk to me, I will carefully read every work in the mailbox. If you don't get back to you, keep trying.

PS: the coordinates of the writer had better be Dongguan or Guangzhou, because it will be easier to communicate, but if you are good enough, ignore this request. By the way, if there is such a person around you, remember to recommend it to us.

contributor, resume + your best 3 works.

one of the articles must be related to film and television works, and the other two articles are not restricted